Transgender man is four months PREGNANT with his second child

June 23, 2017  23:49

A transgender man has revealed that he is expecting a child - four years after he began to transition from female to male.

Kaci Sullivan, 29, from Wisconsin, already has a five-year-old son, Grayson* who he gave birth to while living as a woman - and says he is delighted to be bringing a second baby into the world as a man. 

The 29-year-old fell pregnant after six months of trying with boyfriend Steven - after he took a break from male hormones in May 2016 for health reasons.  

Now four months pregnant, Kaci says his second pregnancy as a male is a far happier experience than his first: 'When I became pregnant with my first child, I was still in denial about being transgender,' he explained.

'I hoped my pregnancy would help me connect with womanhood and femininity and somehow the terrible discomfort I had felt with my body all my life would be alleviated - but that didn't happen.

'Instead, it was a very dark time for me and felt like an affirmation of everything I wasn't and could never be. Giving birth to Grayson forced me to face up to my true feelings about my gender.

'Now, my body is much aligned with how I view myself and my pregnancy is so much better. I love seeing my baby grow inside of me.'

Kaci admits that, like any expectant parent, he gets anxious about his growing body and the delivery itself - but insists he is 'grateful' to be able to carry his child and can't wait to meet the new arrival.  

Artist Kaci has been vlogging about his pregnancy to help others going through the same experience - after realizing the lack of information on the topic.

Kaci - who runs The TransLiberation Arts Coalition which aims to generate visibility for the transgender community through activism in art - says: 'When I first conceived in December, I went online to try to find other trans people who had given birth to babies but I was shocked to only find a handful of articles.

'I knew there would be people who would want more advice and information about this - so I felt a sense of responsibility to vlog about my pregnancy. 

'I upload a new video every week and since I've started, I've received hundreds of questions and grateful messages from other people - which I'm thankful for.'

Kaci felt unhappy with his gender for as long as he can remember - but only learned about the transgender community when he was 18 years old.

He explained: 'I didn't have a language for "transgender" and what that meant until I was in high school.

'I had anxieties about my gender all my life but as soon I learnt about the term as a late teen, I found myself intrigued and drawn to it.

'I mulled over it for several years and by the time I was 21, I knew I was trans. But I didn't want to deal with it or accept it.

'I was crushed by the overwhelming terror of coming out. I was scared to talk to my family about it, to deal with in the workplace and face the medical transition itself.

Kaci is expecting his second child. He recalls: He explains: 'My first pregnancy was completely soul-crushing and I felt like I was in a hopeless and desolate place'

'So I buried my feelings right inside of me and didn't talk to anyone about it.'

Aged 19 and still living as a woman, Kaci met his future husband and fell pregnant in July 2011. After giving birth to their son Grayson, however, Kaci realized the only way he could be a good parent to his son was to stop repressing his feelings.

Soon after, Kaci came out as transgender and broke up with his husband, who he still maintains an amicable co-parenting relationship with. And in May 2013, Kaci began taking male hormones and underwent a double mastectomy.

He explains: 'My first pregnancy was completely soul-crushing and I felt like I was in a hopeless and desolate place.

'After Grayson was born, I realized I was the most depressed I had ever been and I didn't know if I would ever be able to shut up the incessant questions that had dogged through me my entire life.

'I looked at my baby and realized I owed it to my child to be a capable and happy parent for him.

'I wanted to minimize any potential emotional impact on my son so I decided to transition as soon as possible and began taking testosterone.'

Kaci has been with current boyfriend Steven, 27, who works in production since May 2014. Following a pregnancy scare after quitting male hormones, the couple realized they wanted to add to their family and began trying.

'I stopped taking testosterone for a combination of health reasons and a desire to preserve my fertility as I wanted a sibling for Grayson one day.

'Steven and I had no plans to conceive immediately but after a brief pregnancy scare, we realized we wanted a child and began trying. We were successful in February and we're so excited to meet our child.

'I want to try to fight erasure - transgender, nonconforming pregnancies aren't rare. When you look online, there is tons of literature about "ordinary" heterosexual pregnancies.

'I combat erasure by creating content, platforms and safe spaces where transgender and gender nonconforming people can take back their power, tell their stories and be connected with their queer culture and community.'

*Name has been changed

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