This is why you're still single

November 2, 2018 23:49

They say you can’t love someone else until you learn to love yourself — and a new survey of singletons seems to reinforce that.

The poll, conducted by online medical service BodyLogicMD, asked 1,300 single adults about why they’re still flying solo — and found that the participants were completely beating themselves up.

A whopping 65 percent of respondents said that they blame themselves for being uncoupled. Several also feared they were too flabby for love: 37 percent of women thought they were too fat to attract a partner, while 34 percent of men thought their lack of chiseled abs was at fault.

Other concerns included being too sexually conservative, too boring, too nerdy, too bald, too risk-averse or — the catchall — having too low self-esteem to be in a relationship.

Manhattan-based matchmaker Bonnie Winston said she’s surprised that these singles have such low confidence and encourages people to present themselves “in the best light” possible.

“People come to me because … they have had bad luck with people misrepresenting themselves online, whether it’s with weight, looks, age or jobs,” she told The Post.

That said, not all of the study participants chose to shoulder the weight of the blame. Men, for example, were twice as likely as women to blame the company they kept for their single status. Also, about one in four women declared that they were too intelligent for prospective matches, while nearly 14 percent of men had the same complaint.

“I have never, ever had a woman say they are looking for a dumb guy,” Winston said. “Intelligence is a turn-on to women.”

Meanwhile, one in four guys believes that his politeness was holding him back — an assumption Winston calls “ridiculous.”

“Women like polite men,” she said. “It’s the rude and condescending ones that do not get second dates.”

Above all, Winston advises singles to be brave, and just get out there more.

“[Singles] often feel intimidated by trying to approach people,” she said, adding that daters should practice until you feel “100 percent comfortable.”