The end of a romantic relationship can feel like a genuine loss, even if the former partner is alive and has simply moved away. This is supported by research by Australian psychologists at Curtin University, published in the science publication Particle.

«A breakup and the death of a loved one are both losses, and any loss can be experienced as grief. There is no need to rank losses against one another. What matters is the individual's experience of loss,» said grief researcher and psychologist Professor Lauren Breen.

Divorce and separation are also among the life changes that require the greatest adjustment.

Grief affects more than just emotions: «It can affect sleep, appetite, memory, concentration, spirituality, finances and social life,» Breen says.

Stress triggers the release of hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, which are theoretically meant to help us respond to threats; during a breakup, they can make someone feel like a cornered animal, even when they are simply watching television in their pajamas. Acute stress impairs working memory and cognitive flexibility, making it harder to hold information in mind or switch between tasks and approaches.

People also grieve more than just their partner's absence. «During a breakup, you also grieve shared routines, the possible loss of friends who take sides, and the loss of the future you imagined with that person,» Breen explains.

Over time, shared interests, friendships and plans become part of how people understand themselves; when a relationship ends, they experience a loss of «self-concept clarity,» which is associated with greater emotional distress (stress that is harmful to health).

«Research shows that there is no single ‘right’ way to grieve. Coping with loss often involves moving back and forth between focusing on the loss and focusing on new things in life,» Breen says. There is a time to miss the person and a time to adjust to life without them — making your own plans, finding a roommate and establishing new routines; taking breaks from both processes is also part of adjusting.

Researchers emphasize that grief does not follow a straight line, and there can be good days among the bad ones. The basics — eating regularly, getting enough sleep and accepting support — help people care for themselves while grieving. The next time your heart is broken, it is worth remembering: science confirms that grief after a breakup can affect work, hobbies, appetite and sleep, regardless of other obligations, and «feeling better» may take longer than you would like.