How long people WANT sex to last for - and how long it actually does

January 30, 2019 22:26

A new survey reveals that most people wish their sex sessions lasted for longer

While many people dream of long sex marathons, for most, it’s unlikely to become a reality.

A new blog by Dr Justin Lehmiller, a psychologist who specialises in sex, has revealed the discrepancy between how long people want sex to last for, and how long it actually does.

Dr Lehmiller highlighted a recent study, which asked 152 heterosexual couples about their sex lives.

The findings revealed that intercourse lasts around 8 minutes on average, while foreplay lasts for about 12 minutes.

However, it seems that most participants wished their sex sessions lasted for longer.

Women said their ideal intercourse would last for 14 minutes and foreplay to last 19 minutes, while men said they’d like to spend 18 minutes on both.

Dr Lehmiller said: “These findings raise an important question about whether increasing length of time spent on sex would actually make people happier.

“Are people just saying they think sex should last longer because they’ve been led to believe (from porn and media) that sex is supposed to take a long time?

“If so, upping the length of your sex sessions might not have the desired impact.”

Dr Lehmiller suggests that when it comes to sex, quality beats quantity.

He added: “Don’t get so hung up on how often you’re having sex or how long you’re spending on it.

“Focus instead on making sure that everyone is having a good time when you do have sex.

“That said, if increasing duration is a mutually desired goal (not something you just feel like you’re “supposed” to do), then by all means—go for it!”