Women in heterosexual relationships orgasm 30% less frequently than their male counterparts, according to a recent study. The Archives of Sexual Behavior studied 52,500 adults in the US and found that, in relationships, 95% of straight men usually or always climax during sex – compared to only 65 percent of heterosexual women.
In her book ‘Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters – And How to Get It,’ author Laurie Mintz calls this bedroom inequality ‘the orgasm gap.’ Mintz, who teaches psychology of human sexuality at the University of Florida, told NBC that: ‘The number-one reason for the orgasm gap – and it’s not the only one – is our cultural ignorance to the clitoris.’ She explained that many women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm, but it is not often depicted in ‘media images of sex,’ especially pornography.
‘Instead what we see is women having these fast and fabulous orgasms from intercourse alone,’ Mintz continued. A study from the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy echoed Mintz’s findings. Out of 1,055 women surveyed in June 2015, who ranged from 18 to 94-years-old, more than two-thirds of participants indicated the importance of the clitoris. The internet-based survey found that 36.6% of women reported clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm. An additional 36% said that, although it was not needed, clitoral stimulation made their orgasms feel better, while only 18.4% of women reported that intercourse alone was enough to climax.
According to Mintz, the myth that all women should orgasm from intercourse alone has been popularized by a misunderstanding of the ‘g spot’ – which is often depicted as a magic button inside the vagina that leads to immediate toe-curling climax. Mintz said the ‘g spot’ is real, and many women find it pleasurable, but she said that it is not the center of female pleasure, which she maintained is the clitoris.
‘What I’m trying to fight against is the pervasive myth that orgasms from vaginal penetration – including the “g spot” – are better, more ideal, the right way… when in fact the vast majority of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm,’ she said. Mainstream pornography not only confuses men about how to pleasure a woman, Mintz said, claiming that it also misrepresents how long the sexual intercourse lasts.
She explained that, on average, penetrative sex usually lasts for three to five minutes, despite full-length pornographic films that depict otherwise. ‘We have all these men calling into sex therapists worried that they’re not lasting long enough,’ she said, adding that the individualized variety is the best way for a couple to find sexual satisfaction. ‘Forget this myth of orgasming from the same act at the same time…adopt a different way of doing sex.’
According to the Archives of Sexual Behavior, women who reported frequent orgasms with their male partner were more likely to: ‘receive oral sex, be more satisfied with their relationship, ask for what they want in bed, praise their partner for something they did in bed, call/email to tease about doing something sexual, wear sexy lingerie, try new sexual positions, anal stimulation, act out fantasies, and incorporate sexy talk.’